


Waiting to Ignite

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bechdel Test Pass, Community: onceuponaland, Episode Related, F/F, Female Characters, Female Homosexuality, Female Protagonist, Female Relationships, LGBTQ Female Character, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It wasn't time for your wish to be granted."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting to Ignite

**Author's Note:**

> Date Written: 24 January 2014  
>  Word Count: 2904  
>  Written for: [](http://onceuponaland.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://onceuponaland.livejournal.com/)**onceuponaland** 's Round 7 "Cap Claim" challenge  
>  Summary: "It wasn't time for your wish to be granted."  
>  Spoilers: Consider everything we've seen through 03x11 fair game, but this veers into AU after that point.  
>  Warnings: No standard warnings apply.  
>  Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
>  Link to: <http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/>  
>  Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
>  Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Yeah, I wasn't expecting this to be quite so long and involved. And yet, that's totally the norm for when I'm writing for Regina under a deadline. Go figure! So this was written in just over 4 hours and was based on 5 screencaps that I was given and had to interpret. I used them in order. The title of the story is from ["Shine" by Cyndi Lauper](http://www.metrolyrics.com/shine-lyrics-cyndi-lauper.html), which I played for about the first hour of writing this story.
> 
> Screencaps used:  
> [](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/geekgrrllurking/14434833/52675/52675_original.jpg) [](http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/7884/uu8h.jpg) [](http://s2.postimg.org/lejt6peah/capdropain2.jpg) [](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/CountryBaby23/Once%20Upon%20A%20Land/Round%206/shippymoment_zps00fcae3e.png) [](http://imageshack.us/a/img841/2024/8s93.jpg)  
>  Click to embiggen
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: [](http://shatterpath.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://shatterpath.dreamwidth.org/)**shatterpath** , but any remaining errors are entirely mine.

"You know you want to say yes, Regina."

I can feel the furrows in my forehead deepening. No matter how many times I replay it in my head, I can feel the incredulity of the situation. Is she insane? "Emma, are you _insane_?" The words coming hissing past my lips, my eyes darting to take in all of the people around us. Did any of them--?

"Just relax, okay?" Her voice is low, calmer than I certainly feel. "Nobody heard my question. And if you quit freaking out and just _relax_ , you can answer my question and no one will be the wiser. So… How about it?"

"I--"

I glance around at the people celebrating our return to Storybrooke after the dissolution of the undoing of the curse, unsure of why I'm even at this little fete. It's not like anyone truly wants me here, despite what I had to go through to recreate this entire town and bring everyone back. I won't even go into what it took out of me to get Emma and Henry back with their true memories fully restored. I don't want them to find that out either. Ever. Hell, I still don't want them to know what it took for me to let them go, to give Emma all those memories of Henry's life that were _mine_ to savor and cherish. But it had to be done.

"Regina?"

"Mom? Are you okay?"

Henry's voice is both blessing and curse. He's giving me a different focus from the question Emma asked, but clearly we've drawn some sort of attention to ourselves if even our son can see that there's some tension between us.

"I'm fine, Henry," I reply with a bright smile for him. He's grown in this last year and more. It hurts that I actually missed one of his birthdays in all of this hell, thanks to Pan. I promised him I'd never leave him, that I'd always be there for him, no matter what. Well, anyone can see how well I was able to keep that promise to him.

His nose scrunches up as he studies the two of us. "Is something going on? Operation Cobra kind of stuff?" The little boy hopefulness is so strong in his voice that I can almost forget that this teenager is no longer my little boy. "You two aren't fighting, are you?"

Emma shakes her head and ruffles his hair. My god, he's already almost as tall as I am. It won't be long and he'll have his grandfather's height. And I don't mean the Dark One either. I can already see both of his biological parents in his face, now that I know Neal. But I can also see Charming and Snow in his face. Those eyes are the same ones I've stared at for longer than I care to admit.

"No, Henry, we're not fighting. We're just--" What do I say? Do I tell him what Emma asked me?

"Well, we're having a discussion," Emma said, cutting in smoothly, "and I'm not sure how to get your mom to agree to what I asked her."

He tilts his head to the side to study us, mostly me. I can feel my skin crawl in that way that means people are starting to pay attention to us, but I can't drop my eyes from his steady gaze. "You should just say yes, Mom," he finally says. "It doesn't matter what she asked you. You know you can trust her, that she won't do anything to let either of us be hurt. Just say yes."

The megawatt smile on Emma's face is blinding and endearing, but I just can't do this. Not yet. Without another word, I turn around and run from the gathering.

*****

It takes her nearly three hours to find me. There's a part of me that's hurt it took her so long. It makes me wonder if she really cares at all, and I just want to curl up in a tiny ball and hide from the world again. Just like I did as a child when I angered Mother. I could never stand up to her painfully high standards, no matter what I did.

The surprisingly soft sounds of wood scraping across stone pulls me from my thoughts, alerting me to a visitor in the mausoleum. Before the door passes the latch's position, I can feel the familiar buzz along my skin that signals her white magic.

Do I want her to find me? Do I want to actually deal with what she asked me and why I left so suddenly?

Before I fully realize what I'm doing, a ball of energy crackles to life in my left hand, hovering for a moment before it floats off in the direction of the hidden staircase under Daddy's bier. As I open the door to my hidden sanctuary, I can see that ball breaking off, leaving a trail of smaller balls, will-o'-the-wisp breadcrumbs to guide her right to me. If she knows this place, I'll have nowhere left to be completely alone with my thoughts and inadequacies. I've no longer got the energy to plot evil machinations of vengeance. I haven't since Mother… No, best not to go there right now. Not now. Not here. Not when I know that Emma's going to be standing in front of her bier shortly.

The door finally stops, reaching the limit of its hinges and, despite a stone floor, I can feel and hear her boots moving across the floor. There's a faint murmuring that must be her paying her respects to my parents. What an utterly strange situation to be in right now. The daughter of my enemy is paying her respects to my parents, both of whom died because of her mother.

I can't even find the energy to pull back the lights that will guide her to me. Yes, I could step out into the outer areas of the hidden lair, keep my sanctuary private from her and Henry. But I can't move from where I'm standing, one hand tightly clutching the doorframe. The lights reflecting off all of the mirrors is like being surrounded by candlelight, but also like being blinded by torture.

Her voice rises and falls with the easy cadence of almost casual speech. It's one of the things I've learned to enjoy about being around her, one of the things I found I missed a great deal when she and Henry were gone from us for the last year and more. I would fall asleep so many nights to conversations between them, either memories or new ones I'd imagine when I was feeling particularly lonely.

Well, that doesn't include the nights when my parents would come to me in my dreams. The first night my mother came to me, I got to relive our final moments together. I woke up sobbing my eyes out. The raw pain of her acceptance, followed so closely by her death in my arms, nearly put me in a catatonic state. Combining that loss with what I felt for Henry and Emma's losses had me practically suicidal for a while there. If I wasn't careful, I could _feel_ her arms around me, _feel_ her comforting me, and _hear_ her final words to me. I actually started using magic to keep from sleeping, just so I wouldn't have to deal with opening the still-raw wound that is my mother's death. I went almost a month straight without sleep before the bu-- before Archie and Charming, of all people, finally confronted me and got me to sleep. Granny concocted some sort of herbal tea that I'd never had before. I only remember waking up after that first cup, head resting on Charming's lap, feet propped up in Archie's, and Granny quietly knitting something in the rocking chair across from us. They were talking quietly about Emma and Henry. As consciousness registered, I could hear Granny explaining how the blanket for Emma was one of her favorite things to make. She commented on wanting to do the same for Henry, but that she'd be willing to wait to make one for each of his children. It was surreal and comforting at the same time.

Even with these odd new alliances being formed -- and I'm still certain they were only so that my magic would be readily available to them, what with Rumple gone -- living back in the Enchanted Forest and knowing what could have been different in my life if Mother had had her heart, was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Even more than that, I was there completely without family. No Daddy, no Mama, no Henry, and no Emma. Looking back now, realizing how much I missed _her_ was almost more than my already devastated heart could handle.

*****

"Regina?"

I blink at the sound of my name on her lips. And then I register where I am. Somehow, while lost in the depths of memories that I should never have touched in the first place, I gathered up all of the little fireballs and walked up out of my subterranean lair into the main part of the crypt. Thankfully, the lighting is still relatively low, so I won't be blinded by anything more than my own tears.

"Wh-What?" I stammer, jumping when her hand rests lightly on my shoulder. The movement sends more tears cascading down my cheeks, and I flush hotly at the mortification of being caught so emotional.

"Are you okay?"

Her hand reaches up to cup my burning cheek, thumb wiping ineffectually at my tears. But I can't stop myself from leaning into her touch. I need the comfort, the connection.

"I don't know," I finally whisper, meeting her worried gaze. And then reality seems to set in, causing me to take a step back. "Why did you take so long to find me? Are the others out there with rope and torches to root out the Evil Queen again?"

"Jeezus, Regina, it's nothing like that." She takes a step forward, and I take a matching one back. She doesn't move again, other than to hold her hands up in acquiescence. "All I want to do is make sure you're okay and bring you home. Henry's worried sick about you and…"

When she trails off, dropping her gaze, and stuffs her hands into the back pockets of those impossibly tight skinny jeans, I narrow my eyes and study her. "And what?"

"And I am, too." She looks up at me again, green eyes pleading. "Will you please just answer my question, Regina? If you really want to say no, just say it. Don't beat around the bush and put it off. Just be honest with me, okay? Where's that fiery woman who never backed down from the chance to go toe to toe with me? I miss her."

"She's gone. She has nothing to fight about any longer."

She shakes her head. "No, that's not true." She ticks off the points on her fingers. "Raising Henry. My idiot parents. And yes, I'm starting to see that on occasion again. Um, how to run this damned town. The reasons behind the memories you gave us when you left us behind. Why you kept calling out for me while you were gone--"

"What did you say?" I stare at her for a long moment. "How do you know about that?"

"I was having dreams about you. I just didn't know it was you exactly at the time. Plus, um," -- she absently scratches at the back of her neck -- "Dad kind of told me about the conversations you had with him, Archie, and Granny. You know, when you decided you'd rather exhaust yourself into an early grave than actually _sleep_."

"Did you know that I'm the only person in all of Storybrooke that was a part of the curse and only has one set of memories? Before it was the three of us. Henry, you, and me. When I had to destroy the curse to stop Pan, when I had to make the two of you leave and give you false memories, it left me a lone outcast again. And now, that'll never change."

"But Neal--"

"Was never actually affected by the curse in the first place. He was gone long before I was ever born. And the puppet left when you did, so he never got the dual memories." I step closer to her. "Everyone else who went back to the Enchanted Forest when I destroyed the curse had family to help them readjust. I had no one. My parents were dead. You and Henry were gone. I gave up everything to keep the two of you safe, to keep all of _them_ safe. I was only tolerated because I had magic and Rumple was gone. It was entirely on my shoulders to fix things. But all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and mourn the loss of my family."

"Oh Regina…"

"No! Don't you do that. You don't get to pity me." I scrub roughly at my face, hoping to get rid of the tears still streaming down my cheeks. "Do you know how many nights I fell asleep while imagining a conversation between you and Henry? Wishing I could have stayed with the two of you? I didn't want to go back. I wanted to stay here, with the only family I have left."

"Then why won't you say yes to my question?" She steps closer, gripping my shoulders tightly and shaking me. "Don't you realize that's what we want, too? Why the hell do you have to be so damned stubborn?"

Try as I might, I can't fight it any longer, and the words just come rushing out. "Because I don't want to let someone else into my heart, just to lose them to death. I am a black widow to anything I love. First Daniel, then Daddy and Mama. I almost lost Henry, too, but _you_ saved him. _Your_ love was stronger, truer than mine. How can I possibly let you in, knowing it'll just result in your death?"

Her lips pressed tightly to mine is the only thing that could possibly shut me up at this point. And that's exactly what she does. The floodgates implode and all of my emotions come roiling out into that kiss. I can tell by how she stiffens against me that she's as stunned by my reaction as I am. And when I taste tears mingling along the lengths of our twining tongues, I realize they're not just mine, and I cling to her like the life preserver she truly is for me.

When the need for oxygen outweighs all other concerns, she pulls back to rest her forehead against mine and whisper, "Take the risk, Regina, _please_. Let me in. Let me share this burden with you."

Before I can answer, the faintest flutter of wings registers, then a familiar and barely tolerated voice follows. "Believe in yourself, Regina. Believe in the truth of your love."

"What are you doing here?" I hiss, stiffening in Emma's arms, but not meeting the flying bitch's gaze.

"I'm here to set things right."

That gives me enough pause to pull my head back and study the blue bug. "Set what things right? You've never given a damn about me before, so why should you now? Is there a new threat that only my dark magic can contain?"

"I'm sorry, Regina," she says softly, flying closer. "I know you think I ignored you, that I made all of the fairies ignore you. You'd be right--"

"What?" That's Emma's voice, not my own. "What the hell is your problem, Blue?"

"Let me explain, Emma. I have known many of the details of what could happen to everyone in the Enchanted Forest, much as Rumplestiltskin did. I had my own maneuvering to do to balance against his machinations." She turns to face me again. "I heard every single one of your wishes, Regina, and it pained me to have to ignore them. It also hurt to make Tinkerbelle do the same. But it wasn't time for your wish to be granted. There were things that had to happen first. Now, after all this time, I am able to finally make good on my promise to grant your wishes one day."

"I-- I don't understand."

"Accept Emma's offer. Say yes and let her into your heart fully. This is the wish I can grant, that you will know redemption, acceptance, and True Love, but only if you can be brave enough to let Emma into your heart as you let Daniel and Henry in."

"I--" My eyes move from her face to Emma's, searching those eyes I know so well for any signs of hesitation. Finding only love and acceptance, I feel my heart expand with love like I've only felt twice before. Letting a tremulous smile grace my lips, I nod and cup her face. "Yes, Emma. Yes, I want this, I want _you_. I-I love you, Emma."

This time, as our lips meet, I feel the rush of our combined magic filling and exploding from our bodies, blinding me if my eyes weren't already closed at the sublime peace descending over me.


End file.
